Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in thugthrasher's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Monday, September 7th, 2009
9:24 am	And it begins Game 1: FSU vs. Miami   WHOO! FMFFM   This is the best time of year.   Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
11:39 am	I've said it before and I'll probably say it again:   There are no rules harder to follow than those we place on ourselves.     Also: Full collapse... Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Tundra/Desert - Modest Mouse (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 23rd, 2009
9:17 am	Very proud of myself I realized last night that I had lost 51 lbs.  That's more than 50.  In the last 6 months.  I'm very proud of myself, and very happy about losing all that weight.  So I had to share. Current Mood: satisfied (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 22nd, 2009
2:01 pm	Something I've got another of those feelings. Something big is going to happen.  Relatively soon.  I don't know exactly what, but it's coming. "And I don't care how much this hurts. I'm prepared for the worst. And I've got my friends to back me up. I'm really not scared. I'll get back to you. Is this what you want? What you wanted to see? Is my pain not enough for your agony? We've all got secrets..."  Matchbook Romance I REALLY like that line in bold. Current Mood: excited Current Music: Matchbook Romance - Hidden Track (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
1:32 pm	Things that have happened Well, I'm having surgery.  Turns out that when my shoulder popped out, it hit something wrong and the labrum is torn, likely pulled part of it off of the bone.  So they'll be poking inside of my shoulder and repairing it (assuming it's big enough to be repairable, if they get in there and it isn't {not likely} then they will just wait.  Either it will eventually get better or get worse enough to fix and they'd go back in).  I'm not looking forward to it, but at least now I know exactly why my shoulder has been like it has for the past month+. For those that don't know what labrum is (I didn't), that's what they call the cartilage around the socket part of the shoulder-joint.  It's important for keeping things in place. I was getting kind of frustrated with work anyway, but this surgery means I'm just going to quit.  I can't work bar shifts after the surgery (which will be in the next couple of weeks, probably) and it's not worth my time or theirs if I am only working front desk shifts at the hotel.  So no more working there, apparently. Other things.... Yesterday marked the day that I had officially been living in Tallahassee for 10 years.  (Coincidentally it was also exactly 10 weeks from 'the incident' at the beginning of June, I thought that was weird).  I ended up waking up at 4 AM yesterday morning for no reason and was unable to get back to sleep til after 7 (with an alarm set at 7:45....yay).  I did a LOT of thinking...and I especially got on the fact that I'd been here for 10 years for a while.  It actually kind of pissed me off.  I love the people in Tallahassee, you guys are great....but I really am not the biggest fan of this town.  You can only do things in this town so many times before they get boring/frustrating.  Football and my friends are the only things that will keep me sane this fall, I do believe.  I am actually really looking forward to moving away in December/January.  Obviously will have to be in a good place emotionally if I were to move somewhere other than Carolina (where family is) or Florida  (Where I know people within an hour or so from any given point in the state), but even if it's just another random city in Florida (which is actually my preferred because I know people in the state, I like no state income tax, and I'm kind of used to the heat now(though I do miss snow)) it will be better than Tallahassee.  I'm bored, to put it bluntly.  (It also helps that bigger cities have more jobs for my type of work, and therefore better opportunity to move up in the field and make more money).  But as to WHERE I'll end up, no clue.  It all depends on where I find a job at this point, as I have nothing drawing me to live in a particular city and look for jobs somewhere specific.   Jesse's brother and one of his friends (who happens to be a trombone rookie) have been staying with us for a few days, that's been pretty cool.  Though it also means there's ALWAYS someone in the living room and if I'm awake at random hours I can't go watch TV, which is frustrating. As of last week, I was still fairly consistently losing weight, despite having to change my exercise patterns because of the shoulder thing.  With all my doctor's appointments, I have not done much in the last week, so I may have put on a pound or two, but I'll work it off quick enough once I get back into my habits. Classes start next week, that will be good.  I'll get to see my school people and it will give me even MORE random crap to do (which is good and bad).  I'm currently working on two papers (my master's paper and the one for publication) and that is keeping me a little busy when I'm not at work.  Hell, I should be working on them now, but it's hard to concentrate today with the news of the surgery and all.  I did get some work done today, though, so that's fine. I can't really think of anything else going on right now.  I'm sure there is and I just forgot it...but yeah...there's my life.  I'm not happy with it, but I'm working on that.   Current Mood: discontent Current Music: The Get Up Kids - I'll Catch You (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 3rd, 2009
12:30 pm	Snap, Crackle, Pop. So I've been working at the Cabot Lodge on North Monroe as (mostly) a bartender for the last few weeks (I have worked 3 front desk shifts, and I'm getting screwed into working 2 more this week, but the other days i've worked only bar).  It's great, as long as I'm on bar.  Usually something to do and people to talk to, which is nice.  Also, I make good money in tips.  I work a lot, though.  Last week i worked 6 days, and I'm working 5 this week (the only reason I'm not working 6 is because I walk at graduation on Saturday....though they MAY schedule me for Sunday, which would kind of piss me off).  Again, it's not TOO bad if I'm just working bar because I'm only there from about 4:45 til about 8:45. Oh, yeah, by the way, for those that don't know....I'm walking in graduation this semester, even though I'm not actually finishing until December.  It's just easier, because the original plan was for me to finish in Summer and some plans had already been made and money had been spent.  So, that should be good. Other things, other things.... Oh, I think my shoulder was fine last time I posted on here.  I hurt it a few weeks ago.  They think it's either a pulled or torn rotator cuff.  I go to the otrhopedic clinic on Thursday, where I will hopefully find out more.  I am wearing a sling most of the time now, hopefully that won't be around TOO much longer. Ummm....life is rather boring right now.  I mean, really fucking boring.  I would like to go do more stuff, but no one ever wants to do anything at night except a movie every few weeks or going and just hanging out and doing the same stuff that we always do.  I'm getting bored of it all.  It's kind of sad that Poker night is the most exciting night of the week.  But school will be starting up soon, so more people will be around, so hopefully I'll find some more to do. I think that's everything from the past few weeks.  Now time to find some food before I go to work and be bored out of my freaking mind for 8 hours.   Current Mood: bored Current Music: Shark Week (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 26th, 2009
6:54 pm	That's the sound of me being confused. Stop the world, I wanna get on!   Well, I wanna get BACK on is probably closer to the truth, but it's not the quote, so there it is. Real post coming soonish.  Next couple of days, I'm sure. Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009
11:08 am	Yuck I wish I had ANY idea of what was going on in my head and my life right now.   Current Mood: confused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 13th, 2009
5:39 pm	Okay, here's the question I've spoken with a few people about this because I'm trying to get a feel just cuz I'm curious.  I've gotten mixed responses. What I am asking is whether you think the lyrics in this song are more positive or more negative (i.e. depressing), particularly in relation to love and relationships.  I will give my opinion as the first comment, so if you want to make up your mind before seeing another opinion, you can, or if you'd like to hear my arguments one way or the other, you can do that. And I know songs can be and are usually meant to be interpreted many different ways.  I'm just curious how people see this one because of a conversation I had with someone about it a few weeks ago.  So give me your feelings. :) Here's the lyrics.  Oh, and it's just the first couple of verses because, well, the second part isn't much :-P:   ( What's cooler than being cool? )     (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 9th, 2009
9:51 am	Seeee This one's not really sad. I know someone who could have written this song. ( I Think )   Current Mood: restless Current Music: The Magnetic Fields - I Think I Need a New Heart (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
10:15 am	more I do wish my brain would occasionally just shut up.  I'm always in like 5 places at once and it's annoying. Well, this song is one I just love.  Don't read too much into it, it's actually the opposite of how I feel in a lot of ways.  And yes, there are happier songs on these CDs, they're coming soon. ( RAHHR ) Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
3:49 pm	Magnetic Fields Here's a song that's exactly how I felt not so long ago.  Read it.  Enjoy. You are a splendid butterfly. It is your wings that make you beautiful. And I could make you fly away But I could never make you stay. You said you were in love with me. Both of us know that that's impossible. And I could make you rue the day But I could never make you stay. Not for all the tea in China. Not if I could sing like a bird. Not for all North Carolina. Not for all my little words. Not if I could write for you The sweetest song you ever heard. It doesn't matter what I do, Not for all my little words. Now that you've made me want to die You tell me that you're unboyfriendable. And I could make you pay and pay But I could never make you stay... Not for all the tea in China. Not if I could sing like a bird. Not for all North Carolina. Not for all my little words. Not if I could write for you The sweetest song you ever heard. It doesn't matter what I do, Not for all my little words. It doesn't matter what I do, Not for all my little words... -The Magnetic Fields All My Little Words Current Mood: anxious Current Music: The Magnetic Fields - All My Little Words (Comment on this)
Monday, July 6th, 2009
4:26 pm	So I'm cheating So, not only am I posting another song, but it's not even from the same album.  I just discovered it and was like "whoah, that's awesome" so felt like posting.  Especially a couple of parts.  Especially for a couple of people. (I'm looking at you for the New York part, Savanna)   ( RAHHR ) Current Mood: depressed Current Music: The Magnetic Fields - 100,000 Fireflies (Comment on this)
9:46 am	The Magnetic Fields Sooo, since I'm falling in love with 69 Love Songs by The Magnetic Fields again, I decided I'd try something.  No, this isn't like what I did with Pinkerton, I'm not going to do all 69 songs.  However, I am going to, over the next little bit, post some of the songs I'm most partial to off this album (well, it's 3 discs, but 1 album).  I highly recommend everyone check it out.  Some songs are funny, some are sweet, some are sad, and some just are.  All in all, it's a great listen.  I'll admit that some of these songs are probably much better with music, but even the lyrics are great, in my opinion, and sometimes very clever.  And yes, I'll include regular updates of my life in here as well, I guess This past weekend was exciting.  Excellenct show on Friday night (the Tilts were the reason I was there, Hogan's band, very good).  Then after the show (like 11:30-12ish) I stayed up a bit late playing Dokapon Kingdom with Micha and enjoying being a wee bit drunk (The Engine Room has such good beer selection, it's hard to pass up).  Then Saturday I wasted time, then went to the coffee shop for some fun w/ friends and grilling out before fireworks.  After all that, I headed over to Chelsea's 21st birthday party, which was a lot of fun and I got a lot of drunk.  Then we walked backed to Colby's and passed out.  I woke up early and tried to remove my hangover with a little food and a lot of water as much as possible before heading to football at 10:30AM on sunday.  Football was a lot of fun, though I did have to sit out for a little while, as I almost passed out, but I got over that and was able to get back in.  Then an EXTREMELY lazy Sunday followed because both Jesse and I were that drained from football.  Eventually Colby came over and we watched some TV and went out to Chubby's for dinner, then I passed out at like 10:15 cuz I was exhausted from the weekend and also getting a slight cold.  I took an ambien to keep myself asleep and it apparently worked wonderfully.  Woke up around 9 to a rainy Tallahassee morning.  And now to go shower and then head over to Cabot Lodge to see about a job. THAT was my weekend, it was a nice one with lots to do AND lots of relaxation. :) That said, here's the first song off the first disc.  It's great. ( Here it is )</em></p> Current Mood: refreshed Current Music: The Magnetic Fields - Absolutely Cuckoo (Comment on this)
Friday, July 3rd, 2009
10:43 am	hah. It amazes me what you can get from reading old journal entries. I was just reading december 10, 2006 (which is only a year and 2 days away from another important day for me) because I was skimming old entries and I was just struck by it.   That is all. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
8:34 pm	Dun dun dun! So, big news this week. Two things: 1)  I am on antidepressants now.  yay?  hopefully it will help. 2)  I have been offered to coauthor a paper with one of my former professors and I am going to do it.  We won't actually start til August or September, but this is a huge opportunity for me and I am very glad to have it.  It's also a big compliment to me to get offered to coauthor a paper before I even finish my Master's (and when I'm not planning on pursuing a Ph.D.).  This is good. And now for the song.  This song is really beautiful, in my opinion.  I'm normally not a big Coldplay fan, but this song is one of the exceptions.  It was on the Scrubs rerun tonight and it reminded me how beautiful it is.  It loses a lot without the music, but still....you should look it up.  And no, this isn't really one that applies much to my life at this moment in particular, but it does in general a lot. ( Here it is ) Current Mood: indifferent Current Music: Coldplay - Fix You (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
9:52 am	Oops When I was posting, meant to post a song at the end.  Gonna get back into that habit since I'm back at home again.  But, my sleeping meds were kicking in, so I forgot.       ( Found this on my random last night )   Current Music: The Early November - Every Night's Another Story (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
11:40 pm	It takes two to tango *sigh* I begin to suspect that what I predicted is more likely. This makes me cry. This makes me angry. This makes me want to yell and scream, but I don't have anyone to yell and scream at. (At least no one awake) I just wish I knew...anything, really. Current Music: Jack's Mannequin - Cell Phone (EP Version) (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 27th, 2009
3:58 am	"My friend assures me, 'It's all or nothing.' I am not worried I am not overly concerned My friend implores me, 'For one time only, make an exception.' I am not worried Wrap her up in a package of lies Send her off to a coconut island I am not worried, I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions 'Oh,' she says, 'you're changing.' But we're always changing... It does not bother me to say This isn't love Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love And I guess I'm going to have to live with that But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey Or something in between, And I can always change my name If that's what you mean... My friend assures me, 'It's all or nothing.' But I am not really worried, I am not overly concerned You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself To make yourself forget I am not worried 'If it's love,' she said, 'then we're going to have to think about the consequences.' And she can't stop shaking And I can't stop touching her and This time when kindness falls like rain It washes her away And Anna begins to change her mind 'These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days,' she says And I'm not ready for this sort of thing But I'm not going to break And I'm not going to worry about it anymore I'm not going to bend and I'm not going to break I'm not going to worry about it anymore No, no, no, no, no It seems like I should say, 'As long as this is love...' But it's not all that easy So maybe I should Snap her up in a butterfly net Pin her down on a photograph album I am not worried Cuz I've done this sort of thing before But then I start to think about the consequences And I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and The time when kindness falls like rain It washes me away and Anna begins to change my mind And everytime she sneezes I believe it's love and Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing She's talking in her sleep It's keeping me awake and Anna begins to toss and turn And every word is nonsense but I understand and Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing Her kindness bangs a gong It's moving me along and Anna begins to fade away It's chasing me away She disappears and Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing -Anna Begins Counting Crows Current Music: Counting Crows - Anna Begins (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 20th, 2009
1:50 pm	When does it start to get easier? (1 Comment |Comment on this)